At the end of the day, an uneasy feeling washes over me as I walk up the steps and open the door. But then you’re beside me, and as we hang our coats and take off our shoes, everything feels right again. We attempt dinner as a team, since neither of us really knows how to cook. We turn on the television, but we spend the night talking instead. Or, mostly I talk and you listen. You need not open your mouth, because I know what you’ll say. Sometimes, I save you the trouble and say it for you.

My phone goes off, and that uneasy feeling settles again as I read and reply to the message. During my time with you, I try to avoid contact with the world as much as possible. I set my phone back down, but I stare at the wall for what feels like hours before I finally look at you again. I tell myself once more that I need to stop this.

When sleep finally threatens my eyelids, we head to my room, change our clothes, then fall onto the bed. You wrap your arms around me and snuggle closer, and I can almost catch your scent. If I focus hard enough, I can feel your breaths on my neck, and it sends chills up my spine. I am asleep in minutes, dreaming of everything but you. Those dreams only occur when my eyes are open.

January 2014