I Want to But I Don’t

I want to scream until tears pour from my blood-shot eyes
But I don’t want to open my mouth
I want to tug at my hair until my skin rips from my scalp
But I don’t want to move a muscle
I want to take a knife to every living human I’ve met
But I don’t want to hurt anyone
I want to dive off a cliff and never come up for air
But I don’t want to die

I can feel these emotions surging through my viens
But I feel nothing
I feel like it’s clawing to escape a meta-physical prison
But I feel completely at ease
I feel like I’m a ticking time bomb
But I feel like I have control

March 31, 2014


Let’s explore
every centimeter
of each other
inside and out

Open your heart to me
you have every bit of mine
and I don’t want it back

Vanquish every doubt we have
I have a feeling this
is for forever

Elevate each other
to new heights
places we never thought

August 13, 2014

Take This and Do With It What You Will


In a place claimed
There is something
Not caused by you


I know I should end it
because I tell myself
every day
that I don’t
want it anymore
when I think about
actually doing it
I find I cannot
I actually
love you.


I say it all day, everyday
Am I telling you, or myself?
We both have our doubts
For different reasons

December 14, 2014

I’m Done

I don’t know what I was thinking
Did I really think I loved the first?
Did I really think I wanted the second?
I’m completely done with the second
The first is now just another person

February 28, 2011

One, Two, Three?




February 28, 2011

What Should I Do?

Get out of my head, stay out of my dreams
I guess I’m not over you, or so it seems
You turned me away, couldn’t be clearer
But each dream makes me wish you were nearer
Why can’t I just push you out of my life
I would cut you out, but I can’t find a knife
Perhaps I want you in my life, as a friend
But I’m just worried, I don’t want a trend
We, you and me, are at an okay point now
I don’t want that to happen again somehow
But I don’t know what to do, not at all
Maybe, between us, I should just build a wall
Something to keep you fully out of my head
Or do I just let us become friends again instead?

March 6, 2011

For You

So many feelings, but no answers
What do you feel? Why?
What do I feel? How?
Impossible; not reciprocated
Why not? Ignorance, she says
Fate, I say
What do you say?
If you even have an opinion
Father, mother, parents
If that’s true, say “I do”
If not, then what do I know
Four letters, a heartache waiting to happen
Lust or various emotions?
Too much going on my mind
Nothing for certain, all mysteries
So much unknown, deeper
And bluer than the sea
Does everything in life have a reason?
Or are we all chasing dreams
Like foolish ants, running around
Carrying things on our shoulders
Much too big for us, but
Necessary for life
Just waiting for someone, something
Bigger to step on us, ending misery
Nothing’s for certain, I feel, except
You are you
And I am me
And for reasons I can’t begin to explain
Who I am loves who you are

March 23, 2011