Sleeping Life Away

Wake up at nine, can’t keep eyes open
Go back to sleep until eleven
Start nodding off playing Sims
Fall asleep on the couch until noon-thirty
Feel like the day is wasted, so take another nap
Wake up at two, have zero energy to do anything
Stare at the computer screen
Nothing to do but sleep

Septmeber 11, 2021

Higher

The marijuana at night puts me to sleep
And the coffee wakes me the next morning
The Benedryl at work is to calm me
And the Monster to wash it down keeps me awake
I do anything not to feel while staying conscious
Feelings weigh me down when all I want is to float

September 10, 2021

My View

I
Start at a dead-end
But force a path through
A path that should already exist
Severe accident, never the same
Daily accidents as a result
But continue on, pretending
That all is fine, all is normal

II
Your path is lonely, alienating
People know you’re there
They can smell you a mile away
Some are mean and tell you
The rest keep their distance

III
Create a bypass
To avoid the unsafe path
But neglect maintenance
Become an unsightly cancer
But continue on, pretending

IV
If you can’t rely on yourself
You rely on no one, nothing
Everything crumbles
You’re questioning everything
Pushing everyone away

V
Remove the bypass
Resume on the flawed path
Which remains unchanged
Nothing is said about that
But continue on, pretending

VI
You can’t love someone else
If you don’t love yourself
You can’t trust someone else
If you don’t trust yourself
You can’t live with someone else
If you can’t live with yourself

VII
Years of travel smoothed the flawed path
By some miracle of life
Still some accidents, still too many
But continue on, pretending
That all is fine, all is normal

August 25, 2021

Coping

Jaw clenching, teeth grinding, heart racing
Panicking, stressing, screaming, pacing
Green calms, green distracts
Stops any irreversible acts

Tears streaming, you’re screaming
Falling, crawling, balling, calling
Clear soothes, clear numbs
Takes away the beating drums

March 19, 2021

You

For Jordan

Never forget who you are
Where you’re from
What you’ve done

You’re soaring high
Going so far
Going faster
Than a speeding car
You’ll master all
Like an avatar
You’re straight up
A shooting star

Shining brighter
Than the sun

March 9, 2021

It Starts Somewhere

Emptiness, loneliness, hopelessness, a self-loathing darkness
The feelings that must lead a damaged soul to over-indulge
To become consumed by the black hole of euphoria
That was invited in to drown the pain, the sorrow, the despair

Inhale deeply once more
Exhale the key to euphoria
Ignore the fear washing over

March 30, 2020