Why Forever

Why did I do that?
What was wrong with me?
Why did I always act like this?
Is there any answer for my prayers?
Is there any solution to what I’ve done?
This is something I’ll always regret doing.
This is something I’ll never understand.
It’ll haunt me for the rest of my life.
But it’s over and done with.
But I can’t take it back.
But it’s permanent.

September 27, 2010


For the first time in her life, she felt free
The wind was blowing in her face
Her hair was following freely behind her
It felt to her as if she was flying
She was finally in control of her life
This was all her decision, alone
And now, no one could tell her no
No one could ruin it for her
She was purely, completely, free

Before this moment, she was scared
Could she actually do it? Should she?
This was the last thing she’d thought of
And perhaps it’d be the best thing ever
She thought of everything that led to this
She’d never been surer of anything, ever
She was used to doing dangerous things
But it seemed like the rush wasn’t enough
Not for her, not any more

Just a second after this rush began
Her mind began working faster than ever
She began to rethink her decision
And in a more negative way now
Was this really what she wanted?
Would this solve everything?
Just seconds ago she felt sure of it
Now that it was too late, she regretted it
She closed her eyes, praying,
“Please, I’m not ready! Not yet!”
Then, praying turned to begging
Tears flew from her eyes
Staining her saddened face
But then she hit the ground
And it was too late

October 18, 2010

What a Difference

I turned my back from this place
So many years ago, left not a trace
I just upped and left, never to return
I couldn’t deal with the never-ending race
There would be no winner in that game
No one wanted love, trust, only fame
I wanted more in life than just that
I knew when I left, I’d never be the same
When I left, my people were still there
I loved them, but not once did they care
They didn’t realize what they were doing
I couldn’t live like that, I just couldn’t bare
Ten years later, I’ve come to check in
Wondering what has become of my kin
I thought they’d still be fighting
Didn’t think someone would win
But it seems I was wrong, and I couldn’t believe
Exactly what’s become of this place since my leave
No one’s survived, none of my people
Nothing’s come out of it, nothing achieved
I walk all around, purely depressed
I see all the places that once gave me stress
I came from this place, yet I’m so different
From all the people that created this mess

October 19, 2010

Life Without You

I don’t really know you all that well
But there’s something about you
Something I can’t get off my mind
I really like you, maybe even more
And I know you like me, you told me
You don’t want a relationship, though
You’ve only got six more months here
But that’s enough time in my eyes
To see if it’s worth the try forever
Or if this is just a little crush magnified
You broke my heart when you said no
I have never cried over a guy before
Let me tell you, it’s not fun at all
But you’re still on my mind, always
I don’t know what will happen to us
But I’d really like to try an “us”
Because I can’t imagine life without you

November 26, 2010

The Something

I love him, with every bit of my heart
He says that he likes me a lot, but how much?
He doesn’t want a relationship, not for six months
He’s graduating in the spring, so he sees no point
But I, on the other hand, see plenty of reasons why
Why we should try, to see if it’s just a crush
Or if this could be something more
The something I feel swelling in my heart

November 28, 2010

He Is

He was really sweet before
He was a cute little drummer
He was not the person I thought
He was hiding his darkness inside
He was what I wanted in a guy
He is not that guy any more

December 3, 2010


I didn’t think I liked him
Then I thought I did
Then we were just friends
Then we almost were more
I didn’t think I liked him at all
Now I don’t want to be without him
We’re friends again now, and I’m happy
But do I want more? Or am I still confused?

February 3, 2011

I Thought… Wrong (Part I)

I thought I hated him
I thought I had fucked it all up
I thought he’d never forgive me
I thought we’d never be friends
I thought it wouldn’t be possible
I thought he’d ignore my messages
I thought he’d be madder than I was
I thought I’d mean nothing to him
I thought wrong

February 3, 2011

I Thought… Right (Part II)

I thought we could be friends
I thought we’d be able to move past my mistake
I thought I’d still mean something, anything
I thought we could possibly be more
I thought I was wrong before
I thought the pain could be over
I thought right before, I fucked it up

February 6, 2011